"We may not have it all together, but together we have it all."
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Am I ready?
Am I ready? It's a question I get asked every day, multiple times a day. My answer to the person asking is always yes, because really what else am I supposed to say. In my head, the truth is I don't know. Are we ever truly ready for a big change in our lives? This summer has been one of twisted emotions for me. From watching my little girl blossom right in front of my eyes to my step daughter becoming a true blue American high schooler. From going to a sorority sisters funeral to hearing of a high school class mate that lost her son after having him with her for only a month. It leaves me wondering how these parents do it. How lucky I am. Am I too lucky? It's been a summer of I don't have time to blog because I need to spend every waking moment with my family- because as I have seen this summer - a perfect life can quickly change. And seeing these tragedies and being pregnant at the same time has truly changed the way I think. It leaves me in a web of emotions for my sweet girls. One is here and I do my damndest to protect her from the evils of the world. One is still inside me and sometimes I think she is safer there. The truth is I can't wait to hold her, kiss her, nurse her. I already love her - so much. I can't wait to see my girls with each other. I can't . It's the knowing that I can't protect them from everything. I can't protect all the ones I love. I think when you become a mom that instinct grows ten fold. You don't just learn a new love for you child, you learn a new love for all the people you care about. The mother instinct isn't just in play for your own kids, it's there for your husband, your parents, etc. So, as I got about my day, knowing I'll get asked if I'm ready, I guess the real answer is yes. I'm more than ready to see the face to the heart I already know. Am I ready for what life has to bring me - are any of us?
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