Summer In Review

Labor Day has come and gone and it's starting to feel more like fall than summer. We had a very exciting summer that was full of fun.

June started out with F's 3rd birthday quickly followed by M's 15th birthday. We had a few trips to the pool with our good friends Jodie and Leland and we quickly discovered that L LOVES the water.

We moved right on into July where we spent our time at fun play groups with friends and ended up having a great 4th of July blast with our playgroup friends. We played the day away. The kids all enjoyed the water slide while the Mommys and Daddys got to enjoy adult conversation mixed with nice cold adult beverages. Evening came and the men put on a wicked fireworks display while the kids all oohed and aahed. By the end of the night we had tired kids and good memories in the book. The week after the 4th was quite a busy one for us. We went to TanTarA in the Ozarks with all of the family, including Gimmy and Papa and our Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins. The kids all had a great time playing all day out in the sun and the adults spent the evening recovering from wiping out while tubing. Before we could come home we knew that we had to get some good Missouri fishing in. We headed to a state park and we all caught some fish, well everyone but me but that is nothing new. Miss F even caught her own and reeled it in. It was a very proud moment in our outdoor loving family. That next week was M's swim team championships for the summer and we had a great time cheering her on and watching her make it look easy when she doesn't even swim during the year anymore...makes me wonder what kind of swimming talent she could have if she did swim year round still.

July ended and we moved into August with Miss F was enrolled in her first swim lessons. She did really great and will definitely be going back for more next summer. She concluded swim lessons with finally putting her head under the water. This was a great accomplishment for her and I look forward to her progress next summer. Miss L had her very first birthday that was of course LadyBug themed and was quite a fun affair - more on that later. After that it was just about back to school time and we spent the rest of August getting school supplies and heading to meet the teacher nights. Miss M started her sophomore year and the week after that Miss F started 3 year old/2 day a week preschool.

And that brings us to now...Time is just passing by too quickly. With fall approaching we are looking at spending less time on the back porch in the pool and looking onward to pumpkin patches, cooler nights, and of course college football.

The New Generation of the SAHM.

Before I even get started I want to make myself perfectly clear that this has nothing to do with the "mommy wars". I think they are stupid and pointless, the little ecards that you see saying this about the working mom or that about the stay at home mom annoy me. We all parent differently, period. There is no working mom that parents the same as another working mom and there is no stay at home that parents the same as another stay at home mom. For me, that is where the mommy  war ends. When I say the "new generation of stay at home moms" I mean - what it's like to be a stay at home in this economy. I proudly call myself a SAHM and wear the acronym proudly, but how much of a stay at home am I? I get up before dawn, leave my house in the dark, go to work, and get home just when my littles are waking up. And no, I don't make near to what I used to make when I was a working professional but every little bit makes a difference these days. I belong to a playgroup of college friends and we all say that we are SAHM's but each and every single one of us works too. One is a successful photographer, one is the queen of crafting and make the most delicious cake pops you will ever have and she markets these skills. The point to my ramblings is this - does a June Cleaver stay at home exist anymore or has the state of the economy driven home that even SAHM's have a job that pays in money and a job that pays in a priceless benefits package as well.

Magical Moments

Little Lady had her 3rd birthday party last Saturday and it was MAGICAL. It was My Little Pony themed and thanks to Pinterest, I had been envisioning this party for MONTHS! It was everything I had hoped it would be. I think that I knew in my head that this would be the first year that she actually understood exactly what having a birthday party was all about. When the morning arrived I was ready. I sent Daddy off to the Little Zoo with all 3 girls and got moving. When she got home she had been thoroughly worn out and fed and all the decorations were up. She went up got a quick shower and was in bed for a nap within 15 minutes. It was perfect timing. It gave me a chance to finish up on the few things I had to do, get Bug ready, and give her a power nap to be ready for the surprise of her life. She knew that she was having a My Little Pony party but what she didn't know was that there was going to be actual ponies. The pony people arrived a half hour before the party was to start, I let them start setting up the bunny, the burro, the bounce house, and 2 ponies - one that was even painted to look like Rarity from My Little Pony. I went up at a quarter till - 15 minutes - till party starting - got her dressed and ready. She was a little grumpy because she rarely is ever woken up by us from her naps but I kept promising her that there was a magical surprise in store. She went downstairs, got to the kitchen windows, and that was it. She ran outside, got a little timid at first, and hid behind Sissy but then she was on that pony as quick as could be. We had a great turnout and everyone young to old loved the animals, even Bug went up on the pony. I was a little worried that Little Lady might lose it when it was time for the ponies to go but I timed it so that was when we started opening gifts and it all went smoothly. After gifts, and saying "oh my gosh" as she opened every present, she asked if it was time for everyone to sing to her. As I was holding her on my hip and singing Happy Birthday to my first born I took a look around and got a little choked up. The love, the happiness, the celebration of her got to me. We finished singing and everyone enjoyed some awesome cake pops and soon after left. We spent the evening outside, relaxing, cleaning up, and cooking out on the grill. It truly was a perfect day filled with many magical moments!

A Letter to my Little Lady

To my sweet Little Lady -

Today is your last day as a two year old. I can hardly believe that it was three years ago today that I entered the doors of that hospital as an anxious, childless women and left as a mother with so much to be taught. And taught me you have. You are still teaching me, every single day. Teaching me patience. Teaching me how much pride I have in you. Teaching me how the love I have for you grows every single moment. Did I mention teaching me patience? You are turning into a mini-me. More than just starting to look like me, you have my personality and with that comes my attitude. I know you were sent here to teach me everything I put my mom through. And even though that feisty-ness gets you into trouble and gives me a run for the money, I love your feisty-ness. I hope that you take it and you run with it your entire life. Don't take any guff from anyone and take it to open doors that may not have been open to you with out it.

Two was a huge year for you. You went from never being without Mommy to going to school once a week. You thrived. You loved it. You loved making new friends and you loved learning new things. You loved the songs you learned at school. Your favorite one was "Zooming Down The Highway."

You became a big sister. You are a great big sister. I will never forget the first time that you held your new baby sister. It was the day she came home from the hospital and the joy on your face was priceless. And that moment will stay with me forever. The moment my heart multiplied, again. You were so proud, and I was so proud of you.

You are having a My Little Pony birthday party and while you do love ponies, your true love in life right now is DINOS. Dinosaur Train is your very favorite show. You know species of dinos that I never knew existed, again teaching me. Your favorite color (today) is blue and your favorite dino (today) is apatosaurus. You love to be outside and I have to bribe you to come in. You can spend your entire day wrapped up in taking care of your toys outside - swinging them, bouncing with them on the tramponline. You love to each lunch outside and most times I catch you sharing it with Diego. And Diego. You love him. You love him fiercely. He is probably your very best friend.

Yes, my Little Lady. You are wonderful. You are everything I hoped you would be and more. I love you more than words could ever say. Happy Birthday my girl I look forward to every thing this next year has in store for  us.

Love Forever and Ever and to Infinity and Beyond-

Mommy

Summer Bucket List

Now that Memorial Day has passed us by, summer is "officially" upon us. And while we have been acting like it is summer for quite some time now due to the unusually hotter weather, I have a "bucket list" of things I want to do this summer:

Make sure my girls get "swim suit" time at least 5x a week - water table, sprinkler, etc. Bring on the water fun!
One Pinterest "experiment" a week - I've said it before, I'll say it again, if you haven't discovered the wonderfulness that is Pinterest - do!
The Playgroup List - One of my dear friends put together our summer playgroup plan and its going to be great - Hellloooo New Aquarium!
Plan a Kaleidoscope date with my dear friend, Jodie. Let the kids be creative, have a picnic, then let them run in the fountains at Crown Center when we are done.
The Zoo - once a month!
The Childrens Farmstead - 2x a month!
And for my personal betterment - 3 5k's before football season starts....Can we say Color Run?!?!?!?

That's my plan for summer along with 3 girls birthdays, summer holidays, hopefully some camping and fishing....I think its going to be a summer to remember!

What I'm Feeling Right Now

A few quotes about my life right now:

on turning 30:
my inner battle of my body image:


my husband:my Little Lady:
my Bug:my step-daughter and how to teach this - that you can be cute and trendy and still be classy - :


my parents:
a few general truths:

I turn 30 in 2 weeks and 1 day. It sounds like such a grown up age. I always imagined what my life would be like at 30 and I wasn't too far off. A few things aren't exactly as planned but I'm finding myself being more sentimental, more thoughtful, more soaking up the moment. I'm also starting to see a new me emerge at the same time, a me that for the first time in my life is having issues with the way I look. Not to sound vain, but I was always in shape, always had a hair style, always looked pretty good. Now, I found that for the past couple years I've settled with being over-weight, the "mom" pony tail, and yoga pants and t-shirts. That is soon to change, I want to look in the mirror and like what I see, and not just for me. How good of a mom can I be if I'm not satisfied with the complete me? I'm also finding myself not taking shit from people. Whether it be someone close that may not even realize that they have upset me or the rude guy that mean mugs me for nursing even when I have my hooter hider on to the snooty moms at the park. I don't back down as easily and I'm finding I like that part of the new me too. I'm not scared to turn 30 and I'm no where close to having a crisis about it. What I am, is excited for whats to come and what the next 30 have carved out for me...I spent the first 30 growing up myself, now I get to spend the next 30 raising these beautiful girls and maybe the 30 after that relaxing....

Dr.Mom In The House

They say a mothers work is never done. Whoever coined that thought left out a few words. It's more like a mothers work is never dull nor done. And when becoming a mother you know there are going to be plenty of times where your role is Dr. Mom. I've got a running tally of the things Dr. Mom can do.

• catch puke with your hands-no problem
• clean poop off just about anything-just getting warmed up
• projectile spit up - fogetaboutit

But today, today, I had the pleasure of performing my very first Nasal Toast-ectomy. You say you don't know what a Nasal Toast-ectomy is...I'll tell you.
A Nasal Toast-ectomy:
Diganosis- you ask your two year old to eat her sandwich, that has been toasted, and she instead shoves toast up her nose, inhales, then says "hey mom, there is something in my nose." I didn't witness this portion as I was in the office but I'm assuming that's just about how it went down.
Procedure- Lay said two year old on her bed while her dad holds her arms and legs and using the nasal aspirator to suck it down all the while threatening her that if she doesn't lay still she will have to go to the hospital.
Yep, that was my day. Another check-mark in the book of Dr. Mom. One I never thought that I would get but can now wear the badge of Professional Nose Toast Remover with pride.

Unhappily Ever Before

This post has been on my mind for awhile. In fact, it's probably been in the back of mind since I first started this blog. It's a question I get asked often, sometimes by people that are curious of my story, sometimes by people that don't understand. How do I do it? Well, here are the answers. Here is what happens when you're happily ever after comes with an unhappily ever before.

First - the ex-wife. Yes, he has an ex-wife. No, it doesn't worry me. I have absolutely no fear that what happened to end the first marriage will end ours. Does it bother me that he has an ex? Well, yes and no. Of course I wish I was the only wife. Of course I wish I didn't have to explain to my children down the road that Daddy was married to someone else. But don't we all come with a past. Don't we all come with previous "loves." What does get me is when she tries to get in our business now. Yeah, that pisses me off, not gonna lie or try to sugar coat it. Do I want to get in my car and drive across town and be like "You divorced him! What WE do isn't YOUR concern." Um yeah, I want to do that sometimes but it wouldn't solve anything and when it comes down to OUR marriage - she plays little to no role. Where she does come into our marriage is when it comes to their daughter, my stepdaughter. Which brings me to point number two.

Next - Miss M. When I first started dating the Big A at the ripe old age of 22 not many of my friends thought much about him having an ex. Curious maybe to the extent of how the marriage dissolved - did he cheat on her? did she cheat on him? was their good friend (me) a house wrecker? But when I told my friends that he had a kid and that she was 7 - that took people aback. I often times got hit with "do you know what you are getting yourself into?" "you will have to deal with his ex till she is 18." and more "do you REALLY know what you are getting yourself intos?" I thought I did know what I was getting myself into. I grew up with step-parents. One whom I consider my parent and am very close to and one whom I barely have much to do with. So, yes I thought I knew what I was getting myself into. But, every situation is different. Again, I'm not going to lie and sugar coat it here either. I thought it was going to be super easy. When you come into the relationship when the child is 7 versus age 2 (like I was) the kids have had a chance to grow and become them. They are used to their parents the way they remember or want them to be. They come with resentment not towards me but towards the fact that their mom and dad aren't together anymore. It is hard. And when you are only 15 years older than your now teenage step-daughter, well, sometimes it downright sucks. But being the step-parent comes with good things too. Being a step-parent means that I got to see Big A as a parent first. I got to see him be a Dad. I mean, that had a big part to do with how quickly I fell for him. When you know you eventually want to get married and have kids, it makes falling for a man a lot easier when you see he is a good dad. Being a step-mom to a teenager when I have small children also helps to let me know what I want to do, what I don't want to do, and, it's built in birth control for her:) I do get mad sometimes that I don't really fit the parent role to her. At the same time, I like Victoria' Secret Pink stuff, I like facebook, I can tell her how to text boys back and not sound like a mom when doing it. I can be completely honest. I can tell her how annoying her music is but I know I will never turn her into an Adele fan. I can also tell her to not EVER wear something that short EVER again and even though she heard it a thousand times from her mom it sinks in a little more when I say it because well, I'm kinda cool. And if the kinda cool moments come in between the "you're not my mom" moments I'll take it.

So there it is. A little truth. Is it easy? Not always. Is it worth it? Yes. Marriage is a lot of work but that is what makes it stronger. Being a step-mom is a lot of work too, and I hope that it makes me and her better. I never thought I would be a step-mom or deal with an ex-wife. No little girl daydreams about her Prince Charming having a past. But sometimes, sometimes a Happily Ever After comes with an Unhappily Ever Before.

This Day

When I read this blog post the other day I had mixed feelings about how I felt about it. I mean I should seize every moment with my children. I will be back to corporate America when Bug is in pre-school. I only have so much time to be a stay at home mom. I only have so much time to have them little. I should seize every moment I can. But then there are days like today where I get it, I get her. We can't seize every moment. Sometimes nap time can't come quick enough. Sometimes you do want to slap the idiots at Wal-Mart. I get it.

Wednesdays. They are always a welcome respite. Wednesdays are play group. A time to get together with my fellow sorority friends that are also sahms and talk about the trials and tribs of being a parent along with reminiscing about our college selves. We alternate hosting and today was my day to host but with us being gone unexpectedly to Nebraska and my house being a mess and Big A having a full morning of conference calls I had to host outside the house. We decided to meet up at a local "super dead" mall and let the kids have the run of the indoor play area. That was great. Then we moved onto Target for a snack bar lunch and we were going to do a little looking around. Well, Bug pooped her outfit and I was out of wipes. Thanks to Miss Priss's mom I was able to change the diaper but not the clothes so we had to go home and change. This made Little Lady mad so she was having a post-play group breakdown in the parking lot. Got home got changed no problem. A little boob for Bug and we were back out the door. Wal-mart shopping was a breeze till Bug decided that she could absolutely not stand another minute in her car seat and of course I was in line behind a guy with a million things so we weren't going anywhere too quickly. Dig through diaper bag, find wallet, pay - all with one arm- no big deal. Can't find the keys. Of course, bottom of the diaper bag, where else would they be. Then, totally remembered I had no wipes, zero, so I couldn't just come back later. I had to leave the cart with the greeter, get Little Lady out of her seat in the cart and run and get wipes. Got them, got through the line, again, no big deal. Little Lady back in her seat in the cart, Bug on my hip - I got this. Empty parking spot next to my jeep - perfect. I could open doors, strategically park the cart to unload it, load kids, take my time. HA! A PT Loser, I mean a PT Cruiser, drove through the open spot almost clipping my cart that still had Little Lady sitting in it, a Toyota Highlander pulled up and put his blinker on and just sat there. I was livid I could count at least 6 other open spots not to mention one right one the other side of MY open spot! So he sat there as I loaded my car, got an arching little baby strapped in her seat, and I finally moved to get Little Lady in the other side. If you are going to be stupid enough to sit there with a bunch of other spots open then I'm not going to move any faster. I got in my car, shut the door, leaned my head against the seat and thought I can't wait for nap time. And, I got it. Somedays, I can't seize. Somedays, I need nap time.